When Dog The Bounty Hunter was taped calling his son’s black girlfriend a ‘nigger’, the global shock was palpable – not just because of the hateful language but because most people assumed that Dog The Bounty Hunter was black himself.
It’s true. OK, admittedly Dog The Bounty Hunter is a 15-foot-tall, bleach-blonde mulleted redneck who makes his living shooting minor criminals in the face with bear mace and very obviously has white skin, so it might be a stretch to see Dog as black, but that’s how Dog The Bounty Hunter described himself in his first post-scandal TV interview. But it’s OK, because Dog The Bounty Hunter has learnt that he isn’t actually black – which is good because if he was then he’d hate himself and have to spray mace at his own eyes, then manhandle himself a bit while shouting ‘bra’ into his own face over and over again. And that’d just be weird.
Like Rambo or Jesus Christ, Dog The Bounty Hunter was a hero to many. If the public ever thought that someone in their street was harbouring a wanted criminal then they could call Dog The Bounty Hunter and let him – along with his wife – shout abuse at them, chase them down an alley, spray a form of tear gas at them and take them back to prison, so long as there was some kind of financial reward in it for him.
But now Dog The Bounty Hunter is learning what it feels like to be chased, with the mace of public judgement and the butch squat wife of political correctness. Ever since a tape of Dog The Bounty Hunter calling his son’s girlfriend a ‘nigger’ hit the internet, Dog’s prospects have gone from bad to worse. First A&E halted production of Dog The Bounty Hunter and then, after advertisers distanced themselves from Dog, the station dropped him altogether.
People are currently talking about Dog The Bounty Hunter in the same way they’d talk about Don Imus or Michael Richards or that woman from Radio 2 who can only see black people at night if they open their mouths. But Dog The Bounty Hunter knows in his heart that his is a completely different situation. Dog The Bounty Hunter, you see, would never call someone a ‘nigger’ in anger because Dog The Bounty Hunter thinks that he’s black.
In his first interview since the ‘nigger’ tape made the internet, Dog The Bounty Hunter appeared on Fox News’ Hannity & Colmes show to tell the world why he thought he was black and how he now realises that he was probably mistaken in retrospect:
"There’s a special connection that I thought I had between me and black America. And I used to say, ‘I’m black, too.’ In other words, my whole life I’ve been called a half-breed, a convict, king of the trailer trash, this and that… so when I stood there and said, ‘I kind of know what you feel like, because I’ve been there, too,’ that I felt that I could embrace and like, as brothers… say the word. I now learned I’m not black at all, and I never did it out of hate. This sounds so stupid. I always did it out of love. Other white guys would be like, ‘Boy, who does Dog think he is? Dog can say that.’ And black guys would be with me and walk with me and respect me. So, I went too far with that."
Even though this line is markedly different to when Dog The Bounty Hunter told his son that "If Lyssa was dating a nigger we’d all say ‘fuck you’ and you know that," it seems as though Dog The Bounty Hunter is genuinely remorseful for the recorded telephone conversation, and not just because he might not be allowed to strut about on TV like a human Biker Mouse From Mars any more either. Maybe education and time will be the rehabilitation that Dog The Bounty Hunter needs to heal himself and those around him.
Just so long as he’s not allowed on TV any more. Seriously, that show was cack.
Tags: dog the bounty hunter makes racist slurs, is dog the bounty hunter a racist, racist remarks from A&E star, dog the bounty hunter
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